What if??

For years on end I cannot bring myself to think about what
happened that day, not in any probing way
The few times my reminiscing carried me back to that
traumatizing afternoon.
Now after a year has passed,
I sit down to write, to reconstruct
the incident from the echoes and shouts of a trembling soul.
I scratch every detail out and when I get to the end, i pause.
There is an overt, visible, upfront, non-secretive, make-known
ethnic cleansing of my people, a massacre in the story.
I read it again, I read it again
And there it is ,
Who started the fire??
A scared quivering voice says, the significant mob.
But we were completely alone, isolated by the whole world
and fellow anthropoid.
Till this day, i think about wat if the war had never started, what
if it was put to an end before it overpowered the emotions and
sentiments of the people. The question "what if" keeps me up on night when I lay my head
and my soul craves for filial love.
And I ponder upon the question "what if" and my encephalon
still stuck to the zero chances of "what if??"